Friday, May 29, 2009

a face punch of humility

NOTE:  This is long.  It may not make sense.  And I'm ok with that, because really, I don't make sense.  Now on to the post....

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When Rhett and I first got married, I was so excited to start our life together.  I felt like we had it together.  Marriage, college degrees, our own home, 2 jobs, a dog, great friends, awesome families, and a sense of comfort.  Then...

BAM

I got punched in the face with my friend Humility.

Rhett lost his job and spent the next 4 months trying to get one, and he was finally successful BUT it was in...

Tucson

So not only would Rhett have a new job, but we would be completely uprooting everything we knew to move to a bigger city further away from our families.

So remember that list at the beginning of the list?  See what was lost...

marriage
college degrees
2 1 jobs
home
dog
friends (we have great friends, but none fo them will be in Tucson)
family (we still have family but they will be far far away)
comfort

Ok now back to the story.

So now Rhett found a job in the far away desert of Tucson, we found an apartment to stay in until the new house will be ready, and the company that Rhett works for gave us a nice moving package that helped us get through this whole move thing.  So let's tally everything up again...

marriage
college degrees
2 jobs again
2 homes + apartment
dog
friends 
family 
comfort

Then...

BAM

I get another punch in the face from Humility

I can't find a job in Tucson; no one is hiring pediatric nurses.  Our house isn't selling.  Our home was broken into.  Life is just kinda crappy.  

I won't bore you with that list again, but just mark out job, add a marked out security, and add a large side of STRESS.

(At this time I've kind of lost the original point to this, so I apologize, but I'm about to make a huge shift in subject, well kind of).

Why do I tell you all this?  Because I know that this is a really stupid story, but I feel like I had too much Pride and Self-Assurance.  I (now) feel that everything that has happened, good and bad, stems from this.  I feel that if Rhett and I were spending more time in the Lord, we may have been bettered prepared for everything that happened.  I feel like it is God's plan for us to be in Tucson.  That we have served our purpose in Albuquerque, and He has incredible opportunities awaiting us in Arizona.  I feel like we (by we I mean more myself than Rhett, but since we are married I'm trying to include him) tried to control the situation and make life how we wanted it, not how God planned it.  So then things changed, and taught us things about each other, as well as ourselves.

Did anyone else notice how I didn't include God in any of the lists?  I realized it too after I finished writing the last one.  God should be at the beginning of all our lists.  Even before your spouse and family.  And He hasn't been for us, for me.  I don't view of any of the things that have happened to us as punishment from God.  I believe that God = Love, I believe in free will, but I also believe that we will ultimately be held accountable for all our decisions, good and bad.  I see all these events as Him reminding us that He is the Ultimate Planner, Boss, Decision Maker, and Assurance.  A much as I try to have control, it's futile.  

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Ok so that's all I've got.  I have no idea if this makes sense, and it doesn't really matter.   While writing this, I feel like a lot of my issues seem a little more bearable.  I no longer feel like I want a pity party thrown in my honor.  

Thank you God for my wake up call (or as I lovingly like to refer to it, my punch in the face).





7 comments:

Whitney said...

Thank you for sharing your heart like this. It is very easy to not put God first - I do it CONSTANTLY. But we just have to remember that we could make 10,000 lists and God will never disappear off any of them - he is ALWAYS WITH US. That's His promise to us as believers! We can lose homes, jobs, security but He will NEVER leave us or forsake us! Remember the verse - "in this world you will have troubles, but take heart I have overcome the world!" I will be praying for you and your husband. Let me know if you need anything!

Marissa said...

Change can be hard. That is so wonderful you have such a wonderful outlook on it. I think I read Tucson is one of the healthiest cities in the US!

Margaret said...

It is times that everything is going great that we often forget to put God in the center of everything. Sometimes we just need a wake up call. It has happened to all of us. I am sure once God is back in front of everything life will turn around for you. I will say a prayer for you.

wife.mom.nurse said...

Thank you for this post...God is working through you to speak to me.

I too have not put God where he needs to be in my life...at the top of the list.

How long have you been in Tuscon now?

~Julie

Melissa said...

Hey I can totally relate to this and feel like this has also been the theme of my year. He'll get us through though. Have I mentioned how glad I am that you married my brother?

Q, La, and Gooner said...

Oh man! This is a doozy! It is hard to be uprooted and to start over again... We are doing that in Texas and it is really hard! I'm so glad that we have an amazing Heavenly Father!!!

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