motivation where are you?

First I want to thank you all for the sweet comments over my last 2 posts.  You don't know how much your comments have brightened my day!  I'm bad at responding back individually, but thank you all...so much!

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Over the past several months (including pre-baby), I have lacked some serious motivation.  I would blame it on the fact that my job afforded me little time to get anything done from Monday morning till Friday night, and that I could barely catch my breath over the weekend, before I started again.  Then I blamed the fact that when the baby "appeared," I could barely hold my eyes open for the 8+ hours at work and hold down the metaphorical cookies, before crashing into my bed at a consistent 8PM.  

Now I'm supposed to being the glorious 2nd trimester (15 weeks) and feeling energized and wonderful....and well I feel the same if not worse than I did at 7 weeks.  I caught some nasty cold making me feel like I was hit by a mack truck, and the nausea is still there.  (And please don't tell me it only gets worse....cause I like being optimistic that I won't feel this bad for the remaining 6 months, even if I don't feel any better).  I no longer work the 5 day a week job, which I am so thankful about, but I have no motivation for anything.

So I am asking all you readers out there, how do you motivate yourself, because more than likely you are all busier than I am, either with kids, clubs, hobbies, more difficult jobs, etc.  I feel overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done, and I know that's a huge part of my problem.  How do you break things up into "do-able" tasks, stay motivated through it, and still get it all done.  Ideally I would love to spend an entire day, organizing all the crap in our house, cleaning every speck of dust, and still have time to breath.  I know that at this point in time that is not realistic, and part of the reason why I can't get myself started on all the projects that need to be accomplished!

So please any input would be greatly appreciated.  Cleaning used to be cathartic to me, it is what would keep me sane during nursing school, but now I just let it all pile up, and stress me out!

Keeping it real

Is anyone else WORN OUT when you get home from work?

Well WE are!

Ridiculously worn out in fact, and in effort to not eat out every meal (which we nearly do, but who's keeping track right?) I have been unsuccessfully utilizing the crock pot.

After the latest unpleasantly, underwhelming creation on Monday, we were both so tired that we just decided to go to bed.  We had both worked an incredibly long day, and just said to heck with it all!

Well, fast forward to today, and the still unwashed crock pot full of unpleasant food.

We both decided it was time to tackle the "Pot of Despair." And then watch more Prison Break.

So here's how the conversation went.

Rhett: Well I guess I should clean the crock pot.
Me:  Do you have the Haz-Mat suit because we may need it.
Me:  So I think you should throw the fermenting meat into the trash, run and throw it into the dumpster, rinse it out and then just fill it up with soap.
Rhett:  Sounds like a plan.
Me:  But make sure to put some water in it too
Rhett:  Well I was just going to fill it up with soap until we run out of every type of soap we own, laundry, dish, AND hand soap.


This is what happens when the toxic food fumes get to you.

And in case your wondering, no one died in the cleaning of the crock pot...It's actually still soaking in soap AND water at the moment.

Textbook question

As I attempt to make my house a home, I have one question.

What do I do with all the textbooks from college I don't want? Between the 2 of us, we have at least 15 large books, and honestly we don't want or need them.

I wish I had been as smart as one of my nursing school friends who sold them on ebay as soon as we graduated! Amber, why was I not as smart as you? They have seriously been in boxes for nearly 4 years!

For the most part, my nursing textbooks are all out of date, so selling them on ebay won't really work. I would really like to take them somewhere and give them away, but I don't know where.

Any advice friends?

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Hello Friends!

I'm BACK!

I have missed you all so much! The past few weeks have been overwhelming, crazy, and full of both excitement, and complete boredom.

Here's the quick run down.

January 21st-Last day as school nurse.

January 22nd-My parents came to visit.

January 25th-My parents left to go back home, and 1st day of clinic nurse job.

February 1st-(0700) Interview at different job, (1000) Got a job offer.

February 3rd-Put in my two weeks notice.

February 17th-Last day at clinic job.

So on paper that doesn't look like too much, but it was quite the month.

So yes, I am job hopping yet again!

Why you may ask? I want to be a nurse. I want to go to work every day and make a difference in other people's lives. I want to respect myself and the job I have.

I could not do that at the clinic job that I just left. It wasn't what I was promised. I basically got yelled at daily from cranky old people or drug addicts because we didn't have their narcotics ready for them. I didn't sign up for that and I am just thankful that another opportunity presented itself as quickly as it did!

So here I am presented with 1.5 weeks off, and I plan to use this time to my advantage.

Do you guys remember this song? It was totally on the radio as I was driving home yesterday. How appropriate huh?

Have a wonderful day!

Closing time - every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

BTO

BTO, otherwise known as Blogging Time Off.

Dear Blog friends,

I have been pretty terrible about blogging and more importantly reading your blogs! Starting this new job has been a little rocky and I am just totally uninspired right now. Nothing incredibly exciting has happened in the past few weeks and I am just so run down!

I have a feeling that in about 1.5 weeks I will be feeling a lot better! So until then, I will be taking a break. I will continue to do my best to read everyone's blog, but I have a feeling that I will have an obscene amount of posts to catch up on when I actually have the time and energy to read them!

So now I leave you with 2 important facts.

1. the PW oatmeal crispies are delicious! Best oatmeal cookies ever!

2. Google image labeler is an addicting game, but at the moment my brain feels like it's liquified and slowly leaking out of my ear, so I am no good at it right now.

Goodbye lovelies! I will be back soon!

I love you Southwest but...

sometimes I just don't understand you...

Don't you just love my paint skills? ha

I am qualified to save your life, but...

Yesterday was quite the busy day for me (which isn't saying much since I've been unemployed, if I shower during the day I would almost say that was a busy day)....

Anyhoo, I did like 5 loads of laundry!

I took CPR for the healthcare provider with a great company Eclipse CPR (I would highly recommend them! It only took 2.5 hours and he made it pretty fun!)

Then we picked out our granite for "The Lawrence Mansion" (I promise next week to have a Lawrence Mansion Update.

Then we went to dinner at chipotle, and that's when it all went to hell....

We took my car to dinner, and when we left my car wouldn't start. When this happened I just thought....surely this is just a bad joke...

well folks it wasn't.

But of course I am prepared and I made Rhett go ask some high school kids if they could give us a jump. I whip out my jumper cables (which I am both impressed and thankful that I had) and they help us out. Get our car to start and we happily, but apprehensively make our way back to the apartment. And that's when it all went to a hotter and deeper hell....

The radio started flickering and then BAM my car died....IN TRAFFIC! Besides the whole world hating us, I start to have a mild massive panic attack. All I could think was the fact that we knew NO ONE to call to help us out, nor had I had ever dealt with a car that died on the side of the road. SO of course I call my parents who are in TEXAS while we are in ARIZONA, so much to my dismay, they couldn't help us out. Then, mid FREAK OUT I thought maybe we should call Progressive and see if they could get us a tow, so I bawled on the phone until some poor guy had to deal with me and get a tow truck on the way.

In the mean time, all these people are honking at us....like we can do anything by ourselves about it! GEEZ So I'm flipping out, Rhett is concerned that 1. I am going to EXPLODE, 2. what the heck we need to do to get out of our traffic.

One of the funny parts to this whole story is that there was a car that kept honking at us who was directly behind my car. So I just got more upset, well Rhett got out of the car, walked to her car with this huge smile on his face, she refused to roll down the window at first and he nicely explained what was happening, I even think he asked if she wanted to help us instead of just honking (ok I don't think he asked her this, he may have just explained what was happening, but it really adds to the story). My husband rocks!

Well some folks finally stopped and helped us move the car into a busier street that fortunately had a bike/bus lane (which we didn't realize until then) and I started feeling a little better!

LONG story short, my battery was 3 years old and just plain decided to die. It was about time to be replaced and yesterday was the day it wanted to get replaced! Thank you Pep Boys, random Tucson kids, and tow truck guy, you are all my heroes!

So note to everyone if someone is stranded in traffic, don't just honk and get angry....help a brother or sister out....you never know when it could be you at the mercy of a random stranger!

In conclusion....

I may be qualified to save your life.....

but I can't save your car.

I will just sit there and do this....

Oh how I miss that Baby Kate!

or this....

but in all reality like 10 times worse than these pictures....this is just all I could find on google images!

Thank God for my husband, my parents, those random guys, tow truck guy, Progresssive, and Pep Boys....as much as I couldn't fathom it yesterday, it could have been so much worse....

in times like these...

This past week has felt like a whirlwind of bad dreams.

On June 30th, 2008, I lost my (step) father-in-law.

Steve Alexander was driving to work (which happens to always be around 2 o'clock in the morning) and fell asleep at the wheel and died in a tragic accident.

He was a good man, a funny, loving, simple, respected, and faithful man. He loved the Lord, his family, and all those that he met. He worked hard to provide for his family, accepted my husband and his sister as his kids for the past 21 years, and treated Aaron (Melissa's husband) and me as his children as well. He enjoyed the life he had, and always made us laugh.

I know that he is up in heaven fishing with Jesus. I know that he no longer feels pain from his health issues. But even knowing all of this, doesn't take the pain that his absence leaves this family. My mother-in-law, Marmie, is hurting. Her soul mate is no longer by her side.

Please keep us in your prayers. This is a difficult time for everyone, but unfortunately we are dealing with the aftermath of Steve's death. He didn't have a will or a life insurance policy, and he had lots of "good" debt (house and auto). His drug addicted daughter from his 1st marriage stole his bank card the day he died and has now stolen more than $500 of money that was desperately needed to cover the funeral expenses and keep Marmie afloat. The next several months and possibly even the next year will be incredibly difficult for everyone, but as my sister-in-law Melissa said, "that's what faith is. Not knowing how we are going to make it through all of this, but trusting the Lord to provide for us all, no matter how impossible to situation may seem."

So that is where I am today. Life seemed pretty impossible yesterday, but today I'm hopeful. God never gives us more than we can handle, and I am fully trusting my life to Him.

the closing of one door..

I'm sitting on my couch...watching three men packing up our lives and get ready to ship it off to our new destination, to our future. I have a whole range of emotions going through my mind: happiness, sadness, uncertainty, and some reassurance. It has been a difficult few weeks. Many ups and downs, but we have made it through all of that! I am more than ready to be living with my husband again, and playing with my silly dog!

I know I have been a little absent from the blogging world, but after this next week I promise to be more on top of it! I will begin my last week of work on monday. I think I have decided that I will not wear mascara, so that I hopefully won't be all scary eyed when the flood gates open constantly!

So I guess I am asking for prayers for the next week or so. Specifically for our travels, my job prospects, saying goodbye to the amazing people we have met, for our ABQ house to close on time and without anymore complications, and for a positive attitude. We have so much to look forward to, but unfortunately it means leaving people and a place we love behind!

Random life updates

Thank you all for the prayers and warm thoughts yesterday!  The interview went ok (due to my lack of interview experience, I hung up feeling like I did pretty rough, BUT...), I am having a face to face interview with the manager on Saturday.   Yes, that's right.  The manager is coming in on her day off....the worst part of all of this is....

I have nothing to wear!  You see for the past, ohh, 8 months or so, I have been eating anything and everything I want.  So those black pants I have....my legs look like stuffed sausages.  My shirts are all skin tight, and just a little unprofessional looking.  

So I have 1 day to do some serious shopping for an outfit to wear on an interview.  Do any of you guys have suggestions for stores to look at and what I should wear?

a face punch of humility

NOTE:  This is long.  It may not make sense.  And I'm ok with that, because really, I don't make sense.  Now on to the post....

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When Rhett and I first got married, I was so excited to start our life together.  I felt like we had it together.  Marriage, college degrees, our own home, 2 jobs, a dog, great friends, awesome families, and a sense of comfort.  Then...

BAM

I got punched in the face with my friend Humility.

Rhett lost his job and spent the next 4 months trying to get one, and he was finally successful BUT it was in...

Tucson

So not only would Rhett have a new job, but we would be completely uprooting everything we knew to move to a bigger city further away from our families.

So remember that list at the beginning of the list?  See what was lost...

marriage

college degrees

2 1 jobs

home

dog

friends (we have great friends, but none fo them will be in Tucson)

family (we still have family but they will be far far away)

comfort

Ok now back to the story.

So now Rhett found a job in the far away desert of Tucson, we found an apartment to stay in until the new house will be ready, and the company that Rhett works for gave us a nice moving package that helped us get through this whole move thing.  So let's tally everything up again...

marriage

college degrees

2 jobs again

2 homes + apartment

dog

friends 

family 

comfort

Then...

BAM

I get another punch in the face from Humility

I can't find a job in Tucson; no one is hiring pediatric nurses.  Our house isn't selling.  Our home was broken into.  Life is just kinda crappy.  

I won't bore you with that list again, but just mark out job, add a marked out security, and add a large side of STRESS.

(At this time I've kind of lost the original point to this, so I apologize, but I'm about to make a huge shift in subject, well kind of).

Why do I tell you all this?  Because I know that this is a really stupid story, but I feel like I had too much Pride and Self-Assurance.  I (now) feel that everything that has happened, good and bad, stems from this.  I feel that if Rhett and I were spending more time in the Lord, we may have been bettered prepared for everything that happened.  I feel like it is God's plan for us to be in Tucson.  That we have served our purpose in Albuquerque, and He has incredible opportunities awaiting us in Arizona.  I feel like we (by we I mean more myself than Rhett, but since we are married I'm trying to include him) tried to control the situation and make life how we wanted it, not how God planned it.  So then things changed, and taught us things about each other, as well as ourselves.

Did anyone else notice how I didn't include God in any of the lists?  I realized it too after I finished writing the last one.  God should be at the beginning of all our lists.  Even before your spouse and family.  And He hasn't been for us, for me.  I don't view of any of the things that have happened to us as punishment from God.  I believe that God = Love, I believe in free will, but I also believe that we will ultimately be held accountable for all our decisions, good and bad.  I see all these events as Him reminding us that He is the Ultimate Planner, Boss, Decision Maker, and Assurance.  A much as I try to have control, it's futile.  

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Ok so that's all I've got.  I have no idea if this makes sense, and it doesn't really matter.   While writing this, I feel like a lot of my issues seem a little more bearable.  I no longer feel like I want a pity party thrown in my honor.  

Thank you God for my wake up call (or as I lovingly like to refer to it, my punch in the face).

a little MIA lately

I didn't drop off the face of the earth, but my life's been a little crazy in both good and bad ways.  I will post about that more later, but now I'm asking for prayers.

I won't go into too much detail, so bear with me. 

A barely related family member has made some terrible choices as a person and for her 3 kids and now those 3 kids are without a consistent home environment.  Family is scrambling to do what's best for these kids.  There is equally difficult history with this ENTIRE situation, so this decision is not only life changing and difficult, but incredibly heart breaking!  Please pray for those 3 kids and all of our family in this decision.  We want to do what's right, but that also will not be an easy decision.  We need clarity, strength, and peace about any decision that is made.

Thank you all.  

GM

EDIT:

Praise God!!  There was no fed ex letter delivered to my dad today!  He doesn't think it means he's completely out of the woods yet, but the 2 dealerships that will close, will hopefully only add to his chances of keeping his GM franchise.  Now just prayers for the tens (to maybe even hundreds) of thousands of people that found out they will be unemployed soon.  My heart is breaking for them and for the owners' who have put blood, sweat, and tears into a company that is saying, "We don't want you anymore."  

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As some of you might know, my family has owned and operated a GM dealership for the past 85 years.  It grew to include a Toyota franchise in the early 90's.  

85 years, and we may find out today if they would be forced to close the GM part.  

Prayers for my dad and mom.  There whole life is this dealership.  My great-grandfather made it through the depression, my grandfather made it through the 70's, and my dad has continued building this dealership into an thriving business that it is (or was before the economy decided to roll over and die).

So today I'm on pins and needles for a phone call, that could change everything my family has ever known.

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And thanks everyone for their kind words yesterday.  A combination of 3 hours of sleep + tons of stress + unexpected criticism = a sad kelley about ready to give up.

But today is a new day.

Adventures in Scottsdale

We pretty much left Scottsdale feeling like this....

But we got so much accomplished and had an overall good time, but I feel the need to recap it for you all.

So bear with me here people!

1.  I forgot my camera...Rhett was happy about that!

2.  We found the design center for our new home builder and proceeded to spend 4 HOURS there.  We had a good time, until after the 1st hour when she said we had the hard parts done.  Then she proceeded to tell us it was time to pick out the tile carpet and counter tops.....which just so happen to be the MOST expensive thing there.  But we made it through and right on budget surprisingly.  We decided to go with darker maple cabinets (not quite the rich cherry color but close), the gray and black granite counter tops (the cost for Corian counter tops was almost equal to granite, so we went with granite), medium brown carpet, and a neutral tile in the kitchen, downstairs bathroom, and entry way, with a similar looking laminate for the upstairs bathrooms.  We really like the combo, but just hope it won't be completely ugly when it's all said and done.

3.  Met with our lender...I just LOVE talking money (please note the sarcasm here).  However, we still qualify even if we are pulling 2 mortgages once we close on the Sahuarita house.  Just keep praying that we find a buyer for our ABQ house.  It would be 1 less stressor.

4.  Learned that EXTREME U-Turns will cause your trunk to pop open and almost toss all of your important documents out into Scottsdale rush hour traffic.  What important life lesson did I learn after this incident?  Don't criticize the driving of an already stressed out husband in rush hour traffic!

5.  Ate one of the best steak dinners we've ever had at Fleming's.  Also, the one of the most expensive, but we had to celebrate....Rhett got his 1st paycheck!

6.  This is more of a Tempe adventure, but we went to IKEA, bought a TV stand, and headed home 2 brain fried and exhausted newlyweds.

That's all I've got.  There isn't anymore.

how do you deal with a bad day?

this is my coping strategy...

Chocolate Devotion Ice Cream from the gloriously delicious Coldstone 

(unfortunately mine wasn't this large....)

(image courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/gamany/2255838283/)

Why did I have a bad day you may ask? (ok I know you guys aren't asking, but I'm still going to tell you.)

Anyways, back to the question.  Let me just start the list...

1.  I am incredibly stressed....tooo much to do (sell our home, fill out paperwork to buy our new home, tons of work obligations, Rhett's leaving me on saturday, my house is a wreck, etc. etc. etc.)

2.  After my house being burglarized, my insurance agent basically told me to tell the adjuster that the computer that was stolen was mine (it was not, it was our house sitter's).  During the recorded conversation with the adjuster, I told him my agent told me to lie to them, but I couldn't do that and look at myself in the mirror.  Well apparently my agent is mad about that and changing his story saying that he never told me to lie to to the adjuster.  He is trying to make me feel bad, and has advised me to find another agent.  I'm upset because I wanted to already have different coverage by now, and be able to call him and say that I was switching coverage (not the other way around).

3.  No one would return my phone calls today, whether they were prospective insurance people or mortgage lenders.

4.  I needed 10 more hours today to get everything done that I needed too.

ok seriously...I'm just a big baby.  But I do feel better now that I have complained, and that my tummy is full of ice creamy deliciousness.

I hope you all had a better day!