Belated birthday love

Well I missed posting about Rhett's birthday because we were in a fun little city called New York!

So in honor of him now being a year older and even more handsome.....Here are the 26 reasons why I love my husband.

#26-You are really tall (like 5 ft 18in)

#25-You have a really awesome name

#24-You have a wonderful family

#23-You love said family

#22-You love my family

#21-You like to make fun of how my brother sighs (don't hate Sean)

#20-You have mad dancing skills


#19-You have some mad singing skills


#18-You are so easy going

#17-You usually do what I tell you to (i kid i kid)

#16-You like to drive

#15-You have an unreal amount of knowledge on a lot of random (and sometimes completely useless) things

#14-You like watching Prison Break with me

#13-You eat my crappy cooking, even when I make white chili with crunchy beans

#12-You do love my cookies however

#11-You try really hard to do sweet things for me, and most of the times you succeed (except with the cinnamon-raisin bagel).

#10-You make everyday an adventure

#9-You let me complain about stuff and don't hate me if I say mean things

#8-You have that lovely little angel kiss on your head

#7-You don't compromise your principles or morals for anything

#6-You always make me laugh and have the best one-liners

#5-You are respected by so many people

#4-You are weird like me (and aren't afraid to admit it)

#3-You are a godly man and continually going further in your walk with Him

#2-You make me feel beautiful

#1-You love me, and made a promise to love me forever nearly 2 years ago.  Thank you for making me the happiest girl in the world that day!

Keeping it real

Is anyone else WORN OUT when you get home from work?

Well WE are!

Ridiculously worn out in fact, and in effort to not eat out every meal (which we nearly do, but who's keeping track right?) I have been unsuccessfully utilizing the crock pot.

After the latest unpleasantly, underwhelming creation on Monday, we were both so tired that we just decided to go to bed.  We had both worked an incredibly long day, and just said to heck with it all!

Well, fast forward to today, and the still unwashed crock pot full of unpleasant food.

We both decided it was time to tackle the "Pot of Despair." And then watch more Prison Break.

So here's how the conversation went.

Rhett: Well I guess I should clean the crock pot.
Me:  Do you have the Haz-Mat suit because we may need it.
Me:  So I think you should throw the fermenting meat into the trash, run and throw it into the dumpster, rinse it out and then just fill it up with soap.
Rhett:  Sounds like a plan.
Me:  But make sure to put some water in it too
Rhett:  Well I was just going to fill it up with soap until we run out of every type of soap we own, laundry, dish, AND hand soap.


This is what happens when the toxic food fumes get to you.

And in case your wondering, no one died in the cleaning of the crock pot...It's actually still soaking in soap AND water at the moment.

Tuesday morning sing-a-long

My life is pretty boring.

And I'm generally just fine with that.

That being said, Rhett and I are weird people.

And without further ado, here's my morning story.

I was doing my normal morning thing, laying in bed, with the news blaring in the background, catching up on the internet that hasn't changed much from 8 hours ago.

Rhett was getting ready, and comes over to give me a goodbye kiss.  Well, I added in a friendly tush tap, which happened to be on the cheek with his wallet.

I then proceeded to start singing, "He works hard for the money....so hard honey honey."

The end.

Nothing like a tush tap, and sleep deprivation to inspire a sing-a-long.



(Sorry for wasting a few minutes of your life, I hope to crank out a real post soon!).

Flowers for my birthday...

**This is a little late, but worth mentioning**

My husband tries....not always successfully to do sweet things for me. Even if it doesn't pan out the way he would like, there is no doubt a hilarious story behind it all.

Like the time he wanted to get me flowers for our anniversary. He didn't know a florist in Tucson, so he used his handy dandy GPS to try and locate a flower shop. It led him on a 4 hour trek across all of Tucson (which is very spread out, and aggravating to drive through) from dead end to closed florist. He went to different suburbs, and was shut down. He finally did find a florist, and came home with some lovely flowers. I'm not sure if it was worth all the trouble, but he's sweet spend the time finding them!

Fast forward a few months, and I come home to these flowers on my birthday...

...in the smallest vase possible.


He tries....and I love him for that!

How to make....

Rhett Pasta

Long ago, when I was just starting out as a nurse, and Rhett was an equally poor college student, we lacked funds to go out to eat. We ate a lot of sandwiches, and what has since come to be called "Rhett Pasta." It is our go to comfort meal, and I hope you can enjoy it as well.

Step #1 - Gather the ingredients: whole grain pasta (we have to get the fiber in some how), Italian seasoning, Oregano, Olive Oil, Cayenne Pepper, Ground Turkey, and the most important ingredient....heinous amounts of Mozzarella cheese.

Step #2-cook the ground turkey and when it's almost done add a large amount of italian seasoning (Rhett told me to say until the turkey turns green, but that made me lose my appetite).

Step #3-Cook the noodles according to package instructions, drain and then add the olive oil. This is another step that Rhett would prefer to drown the noodles, but I add ~2 Tablespoons and mix well.

Step #4-Add heinous amounts of Cayenne pepper. You basically want to turn the noodles red. However, if you are weak and cannot handle the heat, then add as much as you can handle. True Rhett Pasta is looks like Christmas: Red, green, and white.
Step #5-Sprinkle with Oregano, and mix well. Again use your judgement on the amount of Oregano...we use quite a bit.
Step #6- Spray a casserole dish with Pam and start layering the dish. 1st with a layer of pasta.
Then a layer of turkey.
Then the 1st helping of heinous amounts of cheese.
And then repeat once more with the noodles, turkey, and cheese.

Step #8- You can either cook it on 400 degrees until the cheese is melted or broil it. I find that cooking it at 400 for 5-10 minutes helps to melt the middle layer of cheese!

Step #9 - Remove from the oven and enjoy the warm, noodle-y, cheesy, spicy goodness!

SO there ya have it....Rhett Pasta. It is delicious, and provides room for many variations. We prefer the original version, but have fun with it! And enjoy!

Ghosts of the Crapper Closet!

Dear Friends,

This is the post of all posts. Don't believe me? Well then keep reading!

In our house, we have what Rhett has termed "The Crapper Closet." It's a handy little closet with a toilet. It provides privacy, and allows more than one person to use the bathroom area at a time!

For the past few weeks, Rhett has been fighting the "Ghosts in the Crapper Closet."

Don't look at me like that...my husband is ridiculous....if you have been reading this blog for more than a day, you will have realized this already.

So I felt that this would lead into an excellent "How-To" blog post. And because my husband loves me, he grudgingly wholeheartedly agreed to film this video and was an excellent teacher.

I think he really missed his calling.

So without further a-do, here is "How To Fight the Ghosts in the Crapper Closet."



And I apologize for making you tilt your head....Some moron shot this video....

This is why I love my husband.....

EDIT: I don't quite know why no one can see the video...it makes me sad...so I will try reposting it! I know that when I was investigating the matter, I could load it on Safari, but not Chrome and I didn't try Firefox.

Anyone have an idea how I can fix it?

EDIT #2 - Maybe it's fixed?

To fully enjoy this video, please tilt your head or computer screens to the side.

It's hard to believe I snagged such a hunk!

The story of the flaming pop tart...

Let me let you all in on a little secret.

My husband + toasters = bad news

Maybe I should modify that equation:

My husband + pop tarts + toasters = bad news.

Now, here's the story about the flaming pop tart.

I used to have a toaster. I had it for oh 5ish years (i think). It was a good toaster. It never let me down. It wasn't really expensive, but it got the job done.

Well, fast forward 4 1/2 ish years. I am now married, living in Tucson, and have a husband who doesn't know how to work a toaster. He tries to cook a pop tart one day, it breaks inside said toaster, and he basically mashes all the pop tart innards into the toaster.

Well instead of spending hours trying to clean it, or watch my husband try to electrocute himself, I make the decision that the toaster has lived a good life, and retire it to my trash can.

Now before you tell me how wasteful that was, please understand that my sanity and time is worth more than a 20-30 dollar toaster. Please don't judge me. I felt bad enough doing myself.

Ok anyways, fast forward to Christmas. My mother-in-law, Marmie, heard of our toaster plight and we got a fancy toaster.....

We were happy to have something to make our bread and pop tarts warms and toasty, PLUS it added our favorite disney characters to said pastries!

So my husband decided to use it upon our return to Tucson. It was a typical morning. Rhett was downstairs getting his lunch ready and fixing his breakfast. I was upstairs getting ready. Well, I started to smell something, but didn't pay much attention. I then headed downstairs to complete my morning routine, when Rhett shared with me a story of his recent adventure.

He apparently put 2 pop tarts in the new toaster, and then continued to get things ready. He made his lunch, stared at the wall for a bit, and started to get the juice out. He took the cap off the juice and then smelled something burning. He turned around and smoke was billowing out of the toaster. Knowing that 1. the smoke detectors were about to go off, and 2. the pop tarts were 2 seconds away from catching on fire, he ran and put the toaster outside.

He then proceeded to shake the juice up (without the lid on) and probably curse. Because honestly, that's what I would have done.

But by golly, those blackened pop tarts had mickey's face on them!

Conversations with my husband!

We are back! And I have about 600 posts waiting for me in my Reader. So I will make this short and sweet.

Last night as I was getting dinner ready, my husband was on the phone talking to his dad. You see Rhett's step-sister Lindsy had a baby yesterday! A very exciting time! Until my husband made a doofus out of himself....

James (Rhett's dad): Lindsy had her baby

Rhett: That's great! (spoken like tony the tiger)

James: Yeah

Rhett: Are they all home from that?

Me: (eavesdropping) Are you kidding? She JUST had the baby like an hour ago. How would you feel if you just pushed an 8 pound bowling ball out of "you know where" and then was immediately kicked out of the hospital. GEEZ!

Rhett: well that's not what I meant...

James: *Incessant laughter*

Rhett's just learning so much about babies! I think we should wait a bit longer before we have little rhett's and kelley's.

Happy New Year's Everyone!

Be safe tonight!

Success...is measured in the small things

Today is my 200th blog entry, so don't forget to enter my Joint Giveaway with Katie! You have until Friday at 5 PM Pacific!

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Over the past year (more specifically the last 6 months) I have been packing on the pounds. Some call it the newlywed weight, I call it the "newlywed-transitional-changing job-leaving friends-not liking new job" weight. And as you know from this post, I have started to work on those love handle-thunder thigh issues that are plaguing me currently. I finished Week 5 Day 2 today and it felt great! I love that I ran 8 minutes (twice) and didn't die. Small steps people! Tomorrow will be my 1st 20 minute run in a while, and I want to thank everyone that gave me song inspiration! It has really made a difference!



Anyways, I have been feeling great and my clothes are fitting better (instead of resembling casing on a stuffed sausage). So in honor of this I wanted to share with you a conversation I had with the hubs yesterday.



Me: My scrubs are finally getting looser

Rhett: That's good

Me: Yeah I know, I no longer have to stretch them out with a squat when I first put them on

*I then demonstrated what I meant to the hubs, and he couldn't stop laughing*



Success in the small things people! At least the morning workout makes up for my poor food choices during the day!

A time to reflect on all of my blessings

As this posts, we will be driving to Texas to see family and friends. This past year we have been so incredibly blessed and I just wanted to share these blessings with you all.

I am blessed....

-to have a wonderful husband who loves me even on my worst days!
-to have amazing parents. No matter how old I get, I can't imagine not needing my mom and dad. They are the reason I am the person I am today. They provided me with so much, and taught me so many amazing lessons.
-to have amazing in-laws.

• Amy, you remind me to laugh about everything. You have raised wonderful children and I am so blessed that your son chose to put up with me. I know you have been through so much this year alone. The love that you and Steve shared is something that many people never experience, and those memories will be there with you always. You continue to amaze me with your strength during the past year, I just wish there was more we could do! Thank you for accepting me into your life.
• James and Kara, you both have given so much of yourselves to us and I am forever grateful. From the moment I first met you both, I knew that I had been accepted into a wonderful family. Thank you for welcoming me and providing me with so much love!

-to have a strengthen relationship with my brother (in part because of his awesome wife). We fought so much, but you are still my brother. I look forward to the new chapter in our lives now that we both are married and getting along! And thanks for finding me an wonderful sister-in-law!

-to my wonderful sisters-in-law,brothers-in-law, nieces, and nephews.

• Melissa and Aaron - Thank you for just being down right awesome! You teach us so much about dealing with life during the good and bad times! I am so happy that you will finally be welcoming a precious little Wee Wag in the future! I can't wait to meet him or her! And tell him or her, how awesome their Aunt Kelley is!
• Jennifer - I think you are pretty much fantastic! Thanks for always making me laugh, and for having such an wonderful son! (Caleb, remember I'm your favorite red-headed aunt!).
• Robert - We are praying for you, and whatever you need, we are here for you! I look forward to getting to know you better!
• Lindsy - Can't wait to meet that little man in your belly! You have raised wonderful kids, and we are here for you!
• Danielle - you are a rock star! Need I say more?

-for our jobs. Even if I complain, I am incredibly thankful for having one, when so many around us don't!

-for having a roof over our head, food in our tummy (and on my hips, gut, and thighs), and getting to sleep in our incredible California king mattress again!

-for the little joys we experience daily! I have a wonderful Health Assistant at each of my schools, who bless me daily with different things. They encourage me and help me to feel welcome here!

-for amazing friends who continue to remember about us, even though we moved to another state! Thank you for keeping us in your prayers!

-for my faithful readers! It's one of the highlights of my day, when I have comments! Thank you for caring enough to read about my senseless postings!

-my silly Max. You are a doofus...but I still love you!

-for a wonderful and loving God. This has been a difficult year for us, but even when things were at the absolute worst, He provided every step of the way. I know that if I will just put my COMPLETE faith in Him, I will never be disappointed.

What are you thankful for?

Shopping adventures with the husband...

In general, my husband is kind of a doofus. Now I mean that with love, but I'm constantly looking at the things he has done, and left scratching my head at the pure ridiculousness of it...

like grocery shopping.

Example #1

Attempting to help the cashier, rhett started loading our cart with food that had been rung up.

Now you may ask, what's so ridiculous about that?

He didn't sack them. He just started putting the bananas, yogurt, garlic, etc. in the cart by themselves, so that it would appear it wasn't paid for. I then proceed to look at the cart, then at him, and ask why he couldn't see the importance in putting them in sacks. He then realized what he had done, and busted up laughing.

Silly Rhett.

Example #2

(this isn't really an example, but we couldn't stop laughing about it last night)

We get in the car after the grocery experience, I then spot a mosquito on his face. Without a second thought, I slap him in the face, and see the look of shock on his face. I explain that there was a mosquito, and look at his face expecting to see a smooshed bug....instead there was this...

Yes, another human's blood on his face and my hand.

Pretty neat disgusting eh?

So there you go.

I hope this made sense!

i am here...i promise

Just a quick thought while I put off packing....

Conversations with my husband....

ME: Rhett, I am so fat....my gut is huge...it's bigger than my boobs (which isn't saying much)

RHETT: I'm so fat, and I'm not even supposed to have boobs....

so sweet...in his own way

This is how we celebrate Lawrence Style!

My husband thanks you all for the well wishes on his birthday! We did indeed have a fabulous day! Here is the picture recap!

Eating the Chipotle burrito....he was not pleased that I took his picture!

The homemade Key Lime Pie!

Don't you love how creative I was? HA

After he blew out the candles!

We had a great day! Rhett got to play video games, enjoy his new Amp for his guitar, and not have me hassle him to get any work done! I think he enjoyed it all!

Here is seriously the BEST recipe for Key Lime Pie....and I may have posted this once, but it's worth a second post!

• 1/2 cup fresh lime juice (12 to 15 key limes or 3 to 4 common limes)
• 4 teaspoons grated lime zest
• 4 egg yolks
• 1 - 14 ounce can sweetened condensed milk
• 11 graham crackers
• 3 tablespoons granulated sugar
• 5 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

• It's easier to remove the lime zest from whole limes so I would start with that. Then I would cut the limes in half and squeeze out the juice being careful not to include any pits.

  Process the graham crackers in a food processor or blender and then melt the butter and have it at the ready.

  1. Whisk the egg yolks and lime zest together in a bowl until tinted light green. This takes about 2 minutes

  2. Beat in milk, then juice and set aside at room temperature till it thickens.

  3. Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

  4. Mix graham cracker crumbs and sugar in another bowl.

  5. Add butter and stir with a fork until well blended.

  6. Pour this mixture into a 9-inch pie pan and press over the bottom and up the sides of the pan. Try using the bottom of a measuring cup to make sure the graham cracker mixture forms a firm crust on the bottom of the pie pan.

  7. Bake on the center rack for about 15 minutes until the crust is lightly brown, remove and let cool to room temperature.

  8. Pour the lime filling into crust, spread evenly, and then bake for 15 minutes until the center sets, but still wiggles when shaken.

  9. Remove from oven and cool to room temperature.

  10. Refrigerate for at least three hours until well chilled.

  Some of you might like to serve it with a whipped cream topping or a meringue topping, but I prefer keeping it simple. If the pie seems to be sticking to the pan when serving, try dipping the pan into a bowl of warm water to loosen it.

  
  

  From The Reluctant Gourmet

  
  

  ENJOY!

A historic day

25 years ago today, my sweet husband was born.

Measuring in at 24 inches (yes folks 2 feet of baby in his poor momma's 5 ft 3 1/2in body) greeted the day at around noon on September 7th, 1984 (or the 7th day of September 7 years after 1977).

Since his arrival he has brought much joy, laughter, body odor, and gas to everyone around him.

I love you Rhett!

For your enjoyment, here is my homage to my loving and gassy husband!

Here he is as a wee little high schooler!

Here he is as a wee little high schooler with long hair!

(the reason for his creepy face was due to a creepy flight attendant that we encoutered on our Band trip that year. She kept making that face....the entire flight...so rhett kept making that face....the entire trip)

Here he is with my cousin, sporting the official tie of New Mexico! (and green socks...He's very fashion forward!)

Wearing the chops...

Eating his marshmallow hot dog!

Rhett and Kelley

Ok so yet again I'm at a slight loss of something to post about, so I am posting a silly facebook quiz....is tha lame? yes. Sorry....but play along if you like!

This is kind of like the 25 things - except there are pre-decided questions and it's about you and your spouse, not just you. Come on, play along - inquiring minds want to know! ;-)

♥ What are your middle names?
Audrey and Renee

♥ How long have you been together?
3 years

♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating?
We knew each other for 6 years

♥ Who asked who out?
He pursued me...

♥ How old are each of you?
He's 24 for another month and I'm 25

♥ Did you go to the same school?
Same everything growing up, but different colleges

♥ Are you from the same home town?
Yes!

♥ Who is the smartest?
I think we both are...

♥ Who is the most sensitive?
I cry more frequently, but we are both sensitive

♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple?
before the move: Sadies, After the move: Chipotle

♥ Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Mexico for our honeymoon

♥ Who has the craziest exes?
HAH Both of us...

♥ Who has the worst temper?
me...blame the red hair

♥ Who does the cooking?
we don't really cook....

♥ Who is more social?
depends but both of us usually

♥ Who is the neat-freak?
I wouldn't say I'm a neat freak, but I care more about it than Rhett does

♥ Who is the most stubborn?
me

♥ Who hogs the bed?
me...

♥ Who wakes up earlier?
currently Rhett because he has a job....usually me

♥ Where was your first date?
Midland Texas, and we saw Wedding Crashers (totally an inappropriate movie!)

♥ Who has the bigger family?
Rhett

♥ Do you get flowers often?
Pretty much not

♥ How do you spend the holidays?
with family

♥ Who is more jealous?
me

♥ How long did it take to get serious?
not long at all. We did the long distance thing for most of the 1st year though

♥ Who eats more?
Rhett

♥ Who does/did the laundry?
both of us

♥ Who’s better with the computer?
Rhett

♥ Who drives when you are together?
Rhett

I am qualified to save your life, but...

Yesterday was quite the busy day for me (which isn't saying much since I've been unemployed, if I shower during the day I would almost say that was a busy day)....

Anyhoo, I did like 5 loads of laundry!

I took CPR for the healthcare provider with a great company Eclipse CPR (I would highly recommend them! It only took 2.5 hours and he made it pretty fun!)

Then we picked out our granite for "The Lawrence Mansion" (I promise next week to have a Lawrence Mansion Update.

Then we went to dinner at chipotle, and that's when it all went to hell....

We took my car to dinner, and when we left my car wouldn't start. When this happened I just thought....surely this is just a bad joke...

well folks it wasn't.

But of course I am prepared and I made Rhett go ask some high school kids if they could give us a jump. I whip out my jumper cables (which I am both impressed and thankful that I had) and they help us out. Get our car to start and we happily, but apprehensively make our way back to the apartment. And that's when it all went to a hotter and deeper hell....

The radio started flickering and then BAM my car died....IN TRAFFIC! Besides the whole world hating us, I start to have a mild massive panic attack. All I could think was the fact that we knew NO ONE to call to help us out, nor had I had ever dealt with a car that died on the side of the road. SO of course I call my parents who are in TEXAS while we are in ARIZONA, so much to my dismay, they couldn't help us out. Then, mid FREAK OUT I thought maybe we should call Progressive and see if they could get us a tow, so I bawled on the phone until some poor guy had to deal with me and get a tow truck on the way.

In the mean time, all these people are honking at us....like we can do anything by ourselves about it! GEEZ So I'm flipping out, Rhett is concerned that 1. I am going to EXPLODE, 2. what the heck we need to do to get out of our traffic.

One of the funny parts to this whole story is that there was a car that kept honking at us who was directly behind my car. So I just got more upset, well Rhett got out of the car, walked to her car with this huge smile on his face, she refused to roll down the window at first and he nicely explained what was happening, I even think he asked if she wanted to help us instead of just honking (ok I don't think he asked her this, he may have just explained what was happening, but it really adds to the story). My husband rocks!

Well some folks finally stopped and helped us move the car into a busier street that fortunately had a bike/bus lane (which we didn't realize until then) and I started feeling a little better!

LONG story short, my battery was 3 years old and just plain decided to die. It was about time to be replaced and yesterday was the day it wanted to get replaced! Thank you Pep Boys, random Tucson kids, and tow truck guy, you are all my heroes!

So note to everyone if someone is stranded in traffic, don't just honk and get angry....help a brother or sister out....you never know when it could be you at the mercy of a random stranger!

In conclusion....

I may be qualified to save your life.....

but I can't save your car.

I will just sit there and do this....

Oh how I miss that Baby Kate!

or this....

but in all reality like 10 times worse than these pictures....this is just all I could find on google images!

Thank God for my husband, my parents, those random guys, tow truck guy, Progresssive, and Pep Boys....as much as I couldn't fathom it yesterday, it could have been so much worse....

love it!

One of my favorite things to do is tickle my husband. He's incredibly ticklish especially along his riblets (ribs). However there are times when he holds my arms captive because he doesn't want to be tickled. That is when I use my secret weapon......my chin. He is completely powerless against THE CHIN.

that's all....

(P.S. does anyone know if there is a paint feature on macs so I can doodle on pictures?)

My husband is kind of a doofus....

It's been a rough few weeks, and times when we can laugh are much needed. Here's one of those times...

Rhett told me one night last week that the disposal was broken. I then proceeded to ask if he had told the apartment folks (one of the perks of apartment living)....well of course he hadn't. Once I got here, I tried to push the reset button on the bottom of the disposal and that didn't fix it, so we reported it to the necessary folks.

In the mean time, I asked him how it got clogged. I know he didn't cook, because our online banking told me he ate at chipotle every night. Well he dumped an entire bowl of cheerios down the sink. And here's why....

Before his step dad died, he went to the grocery store and bought some milk anticipating my arrival(sweet I know). Fast forward 2 weeks later, he assumed that the milk had spoiled, so he thought he would eat his cheerios the way he did as a kid....with JUICE. Seeing as how all that's in the fridge is that V8 fusion, it apparently tasted pretty foul and he dumped it into the sink and broke the disposal.

The best part of the whole story.....the milk wasn't expired, and I ate a bowl of cheerios on Saturday morning.

Silly boys....

conversations with my husband!

Rhett: (Randomly, in the middle of the movie theater parking lot) Don't drive into puddles!

Me: What?

Rhett:  These monsoons will do ya in!

Me:  random!

Rhett:  I don't want to have to go look for you in the ocean.

**Note to readers**  The Monsoon season in Arizona can apparently be pretty brutal, so you always are supposed to obey the the warnings, and avoid driving into large collections of water.  Rhett was referring to this tiny puddle in the parking lot.  I am also referring to Arizona....no major oceans near by!

And in other news...

RUN, don't walk to see The Proposal.

SO funny!

We LOVED it!