Keeping it real

Is anyone else WORN OUT when you get home from work?

Well WE are!

Ridiculously worn out in fact, and in effort to not eat out every meal (which we nearly do, but who's keeping track right?) I have been unsuccessfully utilizing the crock pot.

After the latest unpleasantly, underwhelming creation on Monday, we were both so tired that we just decided to go to bed.  We had both worked an incredibly long day, and just said to heck with it all!

Well, fast forward to today, and the still unwashed crock pot full of unpleasant food.

We both decided it was time to tackle the "Pot of Despair." And then watch more Prison Break.

So here's how the conversation went.

Rhett: Well I guess I should clean the crock pot.
Me:  Do you have the Haz-Mat suit because we may need it.
Me:  So I think you should throw the fermenting meat into the trash, run and throw it into the dumpster, rinse it out and then just fill it up with soap.
Rhett:  Sounds like a plan.
Me:  But make sure to put some water in it too
Rhett:  Well I was just going to fill it up with soap until we run out of every type of soap we own, laundry, dish, AND hand soap.


This is what happens when the toxic food fumes get to you.

And in case your wondering, no one died in the cleaning of the crock pot...It's actually still soaking in soap AND water at the moment.

conversations with my husband...

Tonight I let my husband pick our dinner location...

Bad Idea.  

It was this place called El Pollo Lucky (Not to be confused with El Pollo Loco).  It was not such a lucky establishment.  If I am too sick to go to work tomorrow, I will know who to blame.

Anyways, here is an actual conversation we had while dining at the fine creepy establishment.

Rhett:  How's your dinner?

Me: Eh it's not terrible (BTW I was lying).

Rhett:  I'm sorry we came here..

Me:  I'm not, this could have been my favorite place to eat.  And if we wouldn't have come here, we wouldn't have found out that it wasn't.

I'm telling you that we have non stop excitement in our household!

The story of the flaming pop tart...

Let me let you all in on a little secret.

My husband + toasters = bad news

Maybe I should modify that equation:

My husband + pop tarts + toasters = bad news.

Now, here's the story about the flaming pop tart.

I used to have a toaster. I had it for oh 5ish years (i think). It was a good toaster. It never let me down. It wasn't really expensive, but it got the job done.

Well, fast forward 4 1/2 ish years. I am now married, living in Tucson, and have a husband who doesn't know how to work a toaster. He tries to cook a pop tart one day, it breaks inside said toaster, and he basically mashes all the pop tart innards into the toaster.

Well instead of spending hours trying to clean it, or watch my husband try to electrocute himself, I make the decision that the toaster has lived a good life, and retire it to my trash can.

Now before you tell me how wasteful that was, please understand that my sanity and time is worth more than a 20-30 dollar toaster. Please don't judge me. I felt bad enough doing myself.

Ok anyways, fast forward to Christmas. My mother-in-law, Marmie, heard of our toaster plight and we got a fancy toaster.....

We were happy to have something to make our bread and pop tarts warms and toasty, PLUS it added our favorite disney characters to said pastries!

So my husband decided to use it upon our return to Tucson. It was a typical morning. Rhett was downstairs getting his lunch ready and fixing his breakfast. I was upstairs getting ready. Well, I started to smell something, but didn't pay much attention. I then headed downstairs to complete my morning routine, when Rhett shared with me a story of his recent adventure.

He apparently put 2 pop tarts in the new toaster, and then continued to get things ready. He made his lunch, stared at the wall for a bit, and started to get the juice out. He took the cap off the juice and then smelled something burning. He turned around and smoke was billowing out of the toaster. Knowing that 1. the smoke detectors were about to go off, and 2. the pop tarts were 2 seconds away from catching on fire, he ran and put the toaster outside.

He then proceeded to shake the juice up (without the lid on) and probably curse. Because honestly, that's what I would have done.

But by golly, those blackened pop tarts had mickey's face on them!